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I dislike hurting people but sometimes I have to say no to save my own sanity. It may have roots in the military , where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit", rather than "I" or "me". In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to dominant or submissive, or active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. I am in my early 30's and she is in her late 20's. I am a passive woman he is a passive man,I love him enough to die for him.